Signs of Infidelity that Will Surprise You!
“I understand work is important, honey, but so is our normal Wednesday date night, and you have had to work late 3 times in the past month.”
“Honey, why can’t I find the last few texts that I have sent you? I am looking for some pictures that were in them, but I can’t find any of them in your texts.”
“Wow, sweetie, you look great! Why the sudden urge to start working out again.”
Most Common Signs of Infidelity
• Spouse works late
• Hides Texts and Phone calls
• Starts Fights
• Goes to gym more often
• Social pattern changed
• Dresses differently
Common Reasons for Infidelity
• Low Self Esteem
• Lack of Self Understanding
• Lack of affection
• Addiction to sex, love or romance
• Disconnection to partner
I’m not sure when I realized it, but it seems like over the last few months, I have been saying these phrases, or ones very similar to these, quite often to my wife. At first, I hardly noticed, but then as I heard myself saying them more often, I started to wonder if I was missing something that was happening right in front of me? Was there something I needed to worry about? I didn’t think so. Almost every time that I would bring up what I was thinking, and ask questions, a present would show up at my office, or some small gifts would show up at the house. I always appreciated them, but I started realizing that it was happening more and more often. My wife did had not normally brought me gifts like that, and she certainly had not had them delivered to my office. But really, I had to be over thinking the entire situation, right?
But then I thought about one thing. What if I was wrong, what if my wife WAS hiding something from me? What if she was sending me gifts out of guilt for “stepping out”? So I decided to sit down and actually write down the signs of infidelity. I noticed different behaviors in my wife over the last several months.
Signs your Wife is Having an Affair
1. My wife seems to be working later and later hours, and she has even had to work some weekend hours.
My wife almost never had to work any late hours at work, and absolutely never had to work on the weekends, yet over the last 3 months or so, it seems as if every other week at least, she is “finding” things to do at work that she has never done in the past. Before this, even IF my wife received a call to go to work on a regular day off, she would make up ways and reasons to turn the request down. Lately, these reasons have been missing, and they have been replaced with an “I know, I know, I just can’t say no to my boss.”
2. We used to visit my parents or friends’ houses at least once a week for dinner or games, or just to hang out, but lately, she has been finding reasons why she can’t go.
For many years, my wife has loved going to spend some time with my family, and we took advantage of that about once per week. In years past, she thoroughly enjoyed just “chilling” at their house, and catching up on the prior week’s events. Sometimes we would go to dinner and just spend the evening sharing good times and good food and drinks. Lately, she has “not felt so good”, or was “too tired to go”, or would come up with some other reason why she couldn’t make it.
For quite some time, we would get together with our friends on a Friday or Saturday night to play games, go to parties, hang out, or go dancing. In those days, it was almost always her idea to call the friends to “make the date”. Now she is the one who is “calling off” the weekend or canceling the party.
3. The social patterns of my wife have changed considerably.
We used to be what some may call “homebodies”, and would spend time alone with each other doing, well, doing nothing at all. Just being around each other was enough to make us happy. Lately, however, my wife has begun spending time going shopping for what seems like hours but never bringing any items home, hanging out with her girlfriends more often than ever before yet changing her story when I would ask who she was with. Recently, when I have offered to go with her, she has often just changed her mind and not gone at all.
4. The behaviors my wife exhibits with her phone calls or texts have become almost secretive.
Lately, I have noticed my wife getting many more phone calls than she has in the past. I know like many women, she uses her phone a lot, but for my wife, the amount of calls and the way she was on the calls has been a drastic change. Even when she did receive calls at home in front of me, she would not leave the room, and her voice never really changed. Now, many times she will leave the room, taking her cell phone with her into another room before she even answers it. I don’t think I am spying on her, but I think she believes I am. Her voice will lower when I come into the room, and at times, she will even just quickly disconnect the phone call.
5. Is my wife actually encouraging me to check out other women?
Within a few days, my wife has made a few comments to me that I considered a bit out of place and not normal. We were walking in the mall the other day and she as we walked past a group of ladies, she said, “Did you see that one lady looking at your butt? I guess you should probably look at hers too, she looks like she is pretty cute.” Then two days later, as we were getting ready to enter the movie theater, she saw a co-worker and his wife, and she said, “Wow, Dale is nothing special, but his wife is pretty cute and she definitely looks like your type.” Wait a minute. Was my wife not only saying that it was OK to look at someone else, but actually encouraging it? Not only was this out of her own behavior, but also out of almost EVERY woman’s behaviors.
After I looked at the signs of infidelity that I had written down, how could I not think something was wrong? How could I not think my wife had interests that lie outside of her and I? With every of the signs of infidelity that I had written down, to me, the list of “what if’s” that existed was clearly very limited. In fact, I had narrowed it down to one thought. My wife of over 20 years WAS cheating on me!
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